What happened to the men (and some women) of America that the rise of the douchebag is in full effect? Have I just not noticed them and skipped blindly through life oblivious to the douchebaggery around me? Maybe it's a regional thing, and douchebags are more prominent in some parts of the country than others?
Either way, I and my fellow authors will bring to you the best of the best. We are experts in the hunting of douchebags...
My first pick for douchebag of the week: Self-Important Retail worker
You know who you are, working at Target, Starbucks, Best Buy, or any other major retail operation. You're too cool for this school my friend, at least YOU think you are. You pass judgement on all who enter your check-out stall or barista stand. Do you really think you're better than me because I'm buying a Cosmo, Toilet Paper, and Listerine? Fuck off buddy.. I'm sorry that I annoy you because I'm forcing you to do the job you're hired for, and you can't stand idly anymore chit-chatting with your other check-out friends.
What's that? Back-talk and a snide comment because I asked for a non-fat no whip latte? Really? In this day and age, it should be a stranger occurrence that I order my drink as it comes without any changes.
You applied for this job, and yeah, it may suck. Here's the bright side, though.. YOU HAVE A JOB! It's not going to hurt you to smile, be courteous, and pretend to like your job. Go talk shit on your breaks - that's what they're there for.
Stay away from Megan at the Target on Charlotte. He's a real bitch. And, yes, I said "he". I'm not even sure he works there. I suspect he just wears a red shirt and nametag and stands behind the counter judging customers. He once insisted I buy more and said, "You look like a real shopper." You don't even know me . . .
ReplyDeleteA week later, he accosted my mother when she refused to buy a Target credit card. He said, "You're not even listening to me, are you? You don't even care." Crazy . . .